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Wedding Talk

How to calm your nerves

when planning gets too much

The prospect of the most exciting day of your life becomes the most stressful day of your life very, very quickly. With your head filled with dresses, suits, ivory lace, churches and guest lists it doesn’t take long for it to feel like it’s on the verge of exploding into confetti itself. Everyone’s telling you to delegate and share the stress but you just know you couldn’t possibly trust the groom-to-be with picking his own suit, the best man with collecting the rings or even the maid of honour with ensuring all the bridesmaid dresses fit properly. What can you possibly do to stop yourself from becoming a complete and utter stress ball before your wedding day?

Take a breath

Put down the wedding magazines, sit down and take a big, deep inhale…and exhale. When everything starts piling up it’s easy to forget the simple things in life, like taking a few minutes for yourself. Doing this when you can feel the pressure will bring clarity back into your thoughts and decisions and you should instantly feel better. It’ll clear your mind to prioritise the things that need to be worried about there and then to the things you can temporarily place out of mind.

Remember you can’t please everyone

There’s going to be many people with their opinions and ideas, that they will tell you loudly and you’ll find yourself torn, stretched and confused on what you should be picking. Your Mum thinks you should have a dress with a train but your Mother-in-law-to-be thinks you’d suit a shorter, modern approach because of your petite build and you know whichever way you choose someone is going to be left upset. You have to come to accept this. You will not be able to please everyone with your decisions and, as selfish as it seems, you just have to make sure you and your partner are pleased with what you choose. The sooner you come to this realisation, the sooner you’ll start to destress.

Stick to your guns

If you have set ideas of how you want your day to go from the onset then it makes decisions a lot easier in the long run. You know exactly what you’re looking for and how you want your day to be. It reduces the stress and pressure of on-the-spot deciding, and allows you to keep a level head when everyone’s trying to influence your decisions - especially sales people who want you to spend that little bit more.

Stick to your budget, splurge only where necessary

You may not know what you want exactly, but if you know how much you can spend this actually decreases stress. It quietens the voice in the back of your mind that starts to scream every time you get your bank card out, telling you you’re going to end up in debt or that you’ve overspent. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to keep it cheap, it just means plan where you want to spend and plan where to want to save. If you figure this out beforehand it will, again, allow you to stick to your guns and cut down that anxiety to ‘just say no.’

Try and enjoy it!

Take the stress and turn it into fun! Get all your bridesmaids together, pop open the bottle of Prosecco and have fun planning your wedding. Or even, use this time to forget about the wedding planning, make it a rule to not mention a single thing to do with the wedding and truly allow yourself to wind down and take a break.

Think about why you’re putting yourself through it…love

When it all becomes a bit too much as you’re drowning in fabric samples and as you chest constricts each time you look at your diary due to the lack of free space in there, think of your partner. Think back to the beautiful day they got down on their knee and proposed. Remember, ultimately, you’re doing all of this for the dream day when the two of you become one. It may not decrease the amount of things on your to do list, but it will put a more positive perspective on why you’re doing it.

Think of the honeymoon

It may not seem like much of a consolation for the stress you’re feeling right now but once you’ve finalised everything and you’re enjoying your day it is then going to be followed by an escape of relaxation personalised to you. Better yet, it’s time relaxing with the one you love…just hang in there until then!

Hire a wedding planner

If you’re working 9-5 on five days of the week and, realistically, planning your dream wedding around this isn’t working out for you then the solution could be to completely hand over all your stress to a professional. Wedding planner’s are trained to make your dream wedding become real and will, simultaneously, stick to your budget.

Wedding planning certainly isn’t easy but it should be enjoyable. Stressing, although inevitable, fixes no situation and instead takes away the beauty of planning your once in a lifetime event. You’re the bride and nothing should dull your sparkle from the proposal all the way to the wedding day!

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